Bad jokes

#289

Screenshot (70)
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#290

0/10
Unnecessary comma after “a” and before “terrible day”

#291

It was to show a dramatic pause

#292

One day, Jesus said to his disciples: “The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9.”

A man who had just joined the disciples looked very confused and asked Peter: “What, on Earth, does he mean by that?”

Peter replied: “Don’t worry - it’s just another one of his parabolas.”

#293

Pi says to i, "Get real!"
I says to pi, "Get rational!"
E says, “Join me and together we will be - 1!!!”

#294

What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos

#295

I want to die because I laughed at that

#296
Summary

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven was a six offender!

#297

No b/c seven eight nine

#298

no b/c seven was a six offender

#299

No. six was afraid of pi
It was a very irrational fear

ba dum tss

#300

a sheep, drum and snake fall off a cliff

ba dum tss

#301

My girlfriend wanted to be treated like a princess
So I put her in a mercedes and drove her into a wall

#302

Today, when my son asked, “Can I have a book mark?” I burst into tears…
11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Dave…

#303

:frowning: This is terrible

#304

Don’t you just love it when someone goes to your house and asks you if you have a bathroom?

My response: “No! Of course not. I piss in the backyard”

#305

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
Beat it. We’re closed.

#306

What’s the best part about gardening?
Getting down and dirty with your hoes.

#307

What do priests and McDonalds have in common?
They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns

#308

How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Why do women have orgasms?
Just another reason to moan, really.

How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner