so he wants to shoot the guy’s wiener, and his wifes head. 2 shots. but the guy says he can save hit 1 shot. that must mean the wiener is near the head.
tl dr they are having mouth intercourse
Bad jokes
I was delighted when my wife suggested we bring a third person into our relationship…
“Your friend Katie perhaps?” I mused. “I’ve always had a bit of a thing for her.”
She replied, "No, you prick!! I meant a baby.
Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb
I said, “Awww, are you an orphan”?
He said, “Yes, what gave me away?”
I said, “Your parents.”
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in the bus he was driving.
Contest to combat my boredom (Ended)
Once upon a time, a kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas, but he didn’t like the gift. Why?
Because the kid didn’t have legs
My physics teacher told me I had a lot of potential,
Then he pushed me off the roof.
i told my teenage niece to get me a phone book.
she laughed at me and said, "oh uncle J you’re so old. just use my phone"
so i slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider
What hangs at a man’s thigh and wants to poke the hole that it’s often poked before?
A key.
When people say that a circle has no sides, that’s false.
A circle has 2 sides, an inside and an outside.
normal milk - cows
skim milk - athletic cows
chocolate milk - brown cows
4% milk - American cows
strawberry milk - lesbian cows
soy milk - vegan cows
tan - smelly goats
I told my niece that I saw a moose on the way to work this morning
She said, “How do you know he was on his way to work?”
Which is heavier, 200 pounds of bricks or 200 pounds of feathers?
The feathers. 200 pounds of bricks is just a bunch of bricks, but with 200 pounds of feathers you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
So this isn’t really a joke but my friend said this when I finished building a microwave gun
What is a thing you can say both in funeral and during sexual intercourse?
“it would’ve been better if you were alive…”