Best Rotmg jokes (no puns)

#1

No puns, if you want to post puns go here: Realm of the Mad Puns

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#2

I’ll start off, best Rotmg joke? Kabam

#3

Kabam thinking that people will buy the tops in nexus.

#4

unfortunately they were right, I know tons of people who have bought tops in the nexus.

#5

People vastly underestimate just how many people buy tops in the nexus. I’m sure most people start up the game for the first time, see a top, go “oo shiny”. They proceed to buy it, then die, get angry, and never play again.

#6

Yeah. People also underestimate just how many players are willing to drop money on a game they just found. I find it absurd, as I played for 3+ years without gold (I only by in-game currency when I’m positive i’ll continue to play the game for a long time, as with realm) but some people enjoy wasting money i guess :confused:

#7

It was great when I started off and tops weren’t in the nexus, but i still bought an extra slot and vault chest

#8

I’d say this thread earns a medal for most-off-topic-conversations-that-have-nothing-to-do-with-the-title

#9

What’s the difference between a baby and a spiderbot? I don’t have a Spiderbot in my pet yard.

Some people ask me why I decide to fuse my humanoid pets before maxing their abilities. Isn’t it obvious? I like it when my babies are my own fucked up creations.

I potted up everyone’s favorite orb-wielding class to an 8/8. I bought a Shendyt, put on conflict and T6 Orb, grabbed a sun staff and EP from vault, and I even decided to use my crown. I hopped into realm, tp’d to godlands. I was farming when I got cornered by ghost gods, and in my stubbornness I hit nexus a second too late. I died with 21 base fame. What a terrible mystake.

Four of my friends came over, and we played Realm all night long. As we were playing, RNGesus smiled upon us, and by some miracle, we each got an Oreo from the same event. We became pent-erect.

Late one evening, when I was feeling lonely, I asked Minty to come to my house. At first, we decided to Loot Montage and Chill. Then, things started to heat up. Nervously, I asked Minty to show me everything. All I can say is, that Knight left me stunned. (Actually, this isn’t the real story. The truth is a lot more mundane).

IRL Priests could learn a thing or two from ROTMG priests. At least most of us use Holy Protection.

Do you know what Jared Fogle’s favorite skin/dye combination is? Class: Mystic, Skin: Lil Red, Accessory: Old Lace, Clothing: None

I posted a loot picture to /r/rotmg, and people blasted me for hacking. I was curious why, as the picture was entirely normal, and they pointed out that my caption made me suspicious. “A Crop”

You know what Lance Armstrong and Tomb of the Ancients have in common? They each have one Nut.

What do you call it when a tomb minion follows you into the boss room? Eagle’s entry.

The courtroom was silent as the prosecution said to the accused, “tell me truth, did you kill her that night, or is she alive?” The accused paused a moment to think, then responded “Black.” The courtroom gasped, and he was sentenced to life in prison.

How are ROTMG and real life different? I can’t tell, the only thing that matters is something that they share in common: cocaine takes the form of white bags.

How many fame farmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, they are great at boring, repetitive tasks.

Why is the number 0 so big? Because 0/8, 1/8, 2/8, 3/8, 4/8, 5/8, 6/8, 7/8, 8/8.

A noob sees a pro with tops. Amazed, he asks how the pro gets so many tops, explaining that he always struggles to get damage on O2. The pro doesn’t say anything, he just disappears into a cemetery, as he is hunting for Resu. http://imgur.com/hmMpZXG

Originally posted from [here] (https://www.reddit.com/r/RotMG/comments/4d7m69/some_original_rotmg_jokes/)

#10

What’s the difference between Oryx and the other gods? He’s such an animal.

#11

How do you call it when a rotmg player loses his virginity?
Sexual offence

Rotmg Stereotypes!
#12

What wand drops in the Ocean Trench?

Cwand.

AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

#13

What’s the most religious pet in RotMG?

…

Praying Mantis.

AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

#14

Which class is the best at football?

…

Sorcerer.

He’s the best… inter-scepter.

AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

#15

Which egg is the best rapper?

…

DRAKE EGG.

AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

#16

Want to hear the best ROTMG joke ever?

It’s going to be 10/10 comedy gold, promise.

ahem

Ok, so, what do you call RotMG?

A game that is DECAying… get it? Oh shit it doesn’t work fuck.

#17

So Oryx went into a hunter’s bar.
He got shot.

#18

Pls explain it, I dont get it.

#19

I saw this coming…

  1. Oryx is a kind of animal.
  2. Shot… as in, shot glass? (Oh wait was that a pun?)
#20

Now i get it, thanks.