Corrupt-a-Wish

#2778

granted, it’s a tiny milkshake with the word huge on it.

it was MY floofy pupper that died, and it was YOUR floofy pupper that killed it. I wish that my floofy pupper was still alive

#2779

it is but it liek me better

i wish for xaklor to give up on her nostril fetish

“granted you now have 6 nostrils”

#2780

granted, but it brought friends.
like, a LOT of friends.
your house now has more dogs than your local adoption center, and you can’t even fit then all, let alone feed them

i wish i could have a reasonable estimate of how long something’s going to take by simply looking at it

#2781

Granted, but looking at someone reveals how long they have left to live, likewise when you look in the mirror.

I wish for a device that produces a healthy gray paste that tastes whatever the consumer wishes

#2782

granted, but it never digests and ends up clogging your digestive system, killing you
I wish for belladonnas to be a good dungeon

#2783

Granted, but it goes back to the garbage drops that no one wants.

I wish for the power to open any jar with ease no matter how sealed

#2784

granted, but the earth’s crust qualifies as a jar keeping all of the molten lava in so it splits open right under your feet and you fall in.

I wish people would stop calling me DBiz and either call me dbiz (preferred) or Dbiz

#2785

GRANTED, BUT EVERYONES CAPS LOCK AND SHIFT KEY MALFUNCTIONS WHENEVER THEY ATTEMPT TO TYPE YOUR NAME

I wish to always be at a comfortable temperature no matter the surroundings

#2786

Granted, but a sphere with a radius of 1km centered on you drops the ambient temperature to absolute zero, rendering the surrounding area inhospitable to life. You are unaffected by this death zone, but lose all sense of temperature, thus making it “comfortable”.

I wish to be fluent at English.

#2787

granted, but you forget all of the other languages that you know and everyone else forgets english and instantly becomes fluent in latin. All english words and letters are changed to latin as well

I wish I had a plastic bowl

#2788

Granted, but it’s made of PET and I apply PETase and MHETase on it.

I wish plastic was biodegradable.

#2789

granted, but that wish is too kind to corrupt. sorry!
I wish for all the realm Youtubers that left to come back

#2790

Granted! However, it’s only because of Item Forge. After realizing the main gameplay still hasn’t changed, they re-realized all of Realm’s flaws that forced them to leave. The community is none the wiser.

I wish I had all Touhou games.

#2791

Granted!

I’m planning for my very 1st NPE.

#2792

Granted, your comment is now partially invisible and makes no sense in this thread.

I wish i would stop procrastinating the yearbook.

#2793

granted, its renamed to a decadebook so you can wait another 9 years to deal with it. by that time u age 20x as fast as normal people… gl with that fucking neckbeard lmao

and @NyanGamer that is an absolute win!

i wish for prcsakuras npe to not get cucked by a stupid death

#2794

granted, he accidentally deletes it

you have so many dogs that if you try to feed them all, you’ll run out of money in a week

i wish i could go back to sleep right now

#2795

Granted, but narcolepsy plagues you for the rest of your life.

I wish for the ability to respawn in the closest, safest place if I were to get killed

#2796

Granted! If you die in any way, you will respawn in your closet. So, if you die of old age, you’ll still respawn, but you probably won’t have much longer to live anyways. As you get older and older, your deaths become more and more frequent, and eventually you just end up dying, respawning, staying alive for like a day, dying, respawning again, dying again, and it only gets worse from there.
Have a nice life!

I wish I had a nice pair of gloves.

#2797

Granted, but they’re inside your liver, which is probably quite unhealthy in the long run.

I wish I was more focused.