Granted; The next day, you get a Dblade the size of a human being. Normally, a sword of that size would be too large and heavy to wield, but you don’t have to worry, as it’s a single atom thick. (Good luck trying to hold it!)
I wish for the ability to manipulate temperature at will on a universal scale.
Granted, there is now a guy called will standing on a huge scale and you can manipulate his temperature by pouring either ice or boiling water over him. He will probably attack you if you pour hot over him.
I wish for unlimited time.
Granted, but no one else has unlimited time so you are stuck in one moment for the rest of your life, as time is infinitely added on to your own.
I wish for a lightsaber.
Granted, you think it’s so cool so you start waving it around and acting like a jedi, and you accidentally slice yourself in half.
I wish that this darn virus would be beat so I could see all my cousins and grandparents.
Granted, but the problem isn’t this virus, it’s the human race’s paranoia, so we continue living in “fear as a whole,” and nobody wants the risk of exposure to anything again, including your extended family.
I wish you all a Merry Christmas or equivalent Winter/Religious Holiday! 
Granted! However, you reach it with only highlands-level gear. It’ll be an achievement that’ll’ve molten your brain, so you end up taking a break anyway.
I wish I didn’t have this damn cold >:C
Granted!
No corruption this time, colds are the worst. Hope you get well soon!
I wish for a Water Bolt irl
Granted, but your IRL mana is so low you can only use it once per day. It also makes a really annoying squirt sound every time you use it.
I wish for the ability to time travel without disrupting the “timeline”.
granted, in order for this to be possible though you can only use it to travel forward into the future, and only at a rate of 1 second per second
I wish instead of legs I had 26 tentacles, each of which is 6 feet long and I have perfect control over
Granted! However, it’s stuck somewhere underneath your house. You could try digging it up, but will that really be worth it?
I wish I could shapeshift into a slime whenever I wanted and back without any issue.
granted, you are banned for life and can therefore never die
I wish my teeth were indestructible. my jaw doesn’t have to be, just the teeth please.
Granted! However, your tongue becomes extremely sensitive to anything that you don’t already like, meaning you can literally only eat things you like. Literally!
I wish I had a small golden statue of a cute Pokémon.
granted, but secretly, ITS AN ENEMY STAND USER!!! it kills you.
I wish for my dog to be cured of cancer
He is cured, but when the apocalypse comes you will have to eat him.
I wish rotmg was a bigger game
Granted; each update is now a 324 gigabyte download.
I wish I could undelete Sweden.