*Bilgewater
Anyway when Bilgewater met his first love he was out fishing for blue LandFish’s(a.k.a Shatters) And he met a pirate named Dreadstump, Dreadstump had many amazing qualities, but the most elegant one was his beard, everyday, Jon met Dreadstump and they both talked about the heroes they had slain in the past, Dreadstump had chalked up a tremendous amount of kills compared to Jon, this made Jon even more insecure. But one day he finally decided to ask Dreadstump out.
Dreadstump said no.
He was already dating Craig, the intern.
So later on Jon just did it with a parrot.
The end