I can honestly say I hate Demonseye.
This motherfucker. Demons-motherfucking-eye. This absolute bullshit excuse of an enemy comes after me. Standing across from me like an effigy of pure bullshit, this motherfucker fucks any chance I have of escaping or attacking him, every single time.
You want to talk about bullshit, completely fucked range than you need look no further. Oh my fucking GOD this ridiculous green-cube-rum-drinking-cannon-holding looking motherfucker starts with insanely high base damage, and it only gets worse from there! He is absolute bullshit from the second you enter his lair called ‘Mom’s Basement’. You want to harass him? It would be a goddamn shame if every time you approached him he would just erase 90% of your fucking health with his black ball coming out of his cannon. Should have named this enemy little-shit-eye because that’s exactly what he is. He has a fucking range attack so long and not only that but he will fucking cannon you to death. Now we already have this base of bullshit, why not expand from there. Let’s give a dungeon boss with high attack damage better defense and 800 FUCKING HEALTH. Oh I got hit by one of his balls. Get behind a wall and wait to regen. Oh I got hit again. Rinse and repeat. This fucking guy only gets stronger and stronger, as he will fucking switch from small blade bullets to fucking strong ass cannon balls, as we go on. His never ending bullets. Fucking infinite cannons will smash you to death shall he get relatively close to you, like you’ve never been shotgunned before. Didn’t die? Don’t bother running as his never ending blades and balls will take care of that. No counterplays. No saving. No escaping abilities to save you from a FUCK YOU rum-powered boss.
If I have the Pirate King’s Cutlass it is fucking worthless. It’s shitty effects will drop your defence to fucking zero in exchange for 3 fucking speed. Unbelievable. An enemy Shitpost King that is holding the same sword will suddenly land on top of you with unlimited damage and health, because he is swimming in rum bottles from never being challenged or zoned by any of his sex slaves. He gets kills in every fight he participates in, and once he gets his cannonball phase you are getting surprise butt-sexed by this green-cube-looking motherfucker, making you deal NO DAMAGE whatsoever.
And that brings me to another point. The guy seems to not have any rum bottles in his lair. When I think of basements in general, I think of this cancer fuck immediately. His lore literally says that he was responsible for extorting liquor as Oryx’s tax, but was found drinking it. But you can never find any rum bottle in the lair and the drop rate of him dropping one is literally zero. Thanks for that one Demonseye’s mom.
It goes without saying that this motherfucker scales. Later into the dungeon his powerful cannon balls will bash you, this hippy-beard-one-eyed looking fucker bashes your fucking brains into toothpaste. You are a rogue and finally think you will kill him with your invisible powers. Maybe its finally time. No. He will use his eyepatch powers to reveal wherever the fuck you are. Try to get close to him? Funny, you would have already eaten several blade attacks and cannons by the time you reach him, the fat-neckbeard fucker. Nevermind if the guy gets an inch of space, his already high health and defense turns into a full disaster for everyone in the dungeon.
What fucking assholes decided Demonseye was even deserving to be in this fucking game? People bitch about having no counterplays to Killer Bee Queen’s lag bullets, but what the absolute FUCK am I supposed to do to stop this fucker from shotgunning me and my teammates? Nothing. I’m supposed to sit here and watch while this fun-annilihator erase all of our health and bashes all our fucking brains in. I’m supposed to just sit there and just absorb being fucked for 2 minutes straight in the dirtiest way imaginable, because that’s how long I will last on a match with him.
I can honestly say I hate Demonseye.
