I have many tiny friends. Under my bed is a box of baby beetles, who will one day become mighty scarabs. In my corners are spiders of many varieties who serve as my national guard. Sometimes the spiders get in my bed, but that is my private space. Any tiny friends that wander into my bed are met with swift harsh justice in the form of excommunication. Silverfish, isopods, and house centipedes are not welcome as they eat my books like tiny assholes. They are disposed of swiftly by my guards. Lady birds break in during the colder months but soon die off from starvation. Flies and mayflies sneak in but I hate them, they are super annoying. Sometimes a woolly bear will somehow find a way inside despite being too chubby to fit through any cracks. Most common of all are camel crickets who rule the dark lands, they are skittish friends who fear the surface dwellers. Fleas are common at times as well, their hiding spots are drowned in noxious poisons that assure a righteous genocide. New friends are rare, as it’s fairly hard to get in and they hide from sight.
Have you any tiny friends?
- I have many small friends
- I am blessed with a reasonable amount of little friends
- I wish I had small friends
- I want my tiny friends to go away
- Ew, tiny friends
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