Do you call him that to his face? If not, you probably shouldn’t say that on the internet.
Really Depressing Rant (Long)
ThatsMyJam
#64
Because it’s wrong to talk about people like that behind their backs. I am aware of the situation SoloSen is in and I have been in incredibly similar situations, but doing that is only lowering yourself to their level. It’s wrong. You should either be able to say things to people face to face, or not say them on the internet. (with exceptions, of course, but this is not one of them)
ThatsMyJam
#66
You’ve whooshed me my friend. Not sure if you’re implying I’ve hit rock bottom or something else entirely.
Xaklor
#67
“hi I’ve lived under this guy’s thumb for my whole life and I’m definitely going to to tell him exactly how I feel in an attempt to make this guy as mad as possible because this totally can’t go wrong”
Tauntauned
#68
So true, I guess I’ll have to fly to Russia anytime I want to call Putin a lunatic
Or dig up stalins grave to call him a murderer
Really nothing wrong it’s basic human expression. It’s better then keeping it inside then exploding one day
As humans we complain it’s what we do , whether be an event or about a person it helps them to get through the situation instead of acting like like a stone cold rock with no emotions
AKLDragon
#69
Note: Hierophant is not inherently an insult. @ThatsMyJam has good intentions with his “don’t insult people behind their backs thing”, though.
TROLLDLLR
#70
Well, to Solo’s dad it would be since he’s a radical christian xd
(You’d be essentially calling him a heathen)
Literature
#71
I’m American. I’m not bound by any beliefs, belief system, or religion that makes me feel unsafe, uncomfortable, and unequal in any way. American schools teach one simple concept that everyone is born equal. Everyone has his or her rights and everyone has the right to defend his or her rights. I was also taught to speak up. If literally anything is bothering me, i should tell someone, where it would be an adult, my parents, authorities, etc. American schools teach a very simple concept of fighting oppression. I can’t say that my situation is the same as yours; I am privileged. I am privileged to not have an abusive family, to get what I want, and to be able to live a good life. There are services out there. People have reported against abusive families and such in the past. That’s why foster families, orphanages, hotlines to call exist. Am I saying that you should grow some balls and report your biological father? No. What I’m saying is that you should choose how you want to live life. Of course, you can’t exactly do that because of limitations like lack of money or legal age, but if something is bothering you, why do you need to put up with it?
I can’t disagree with the second half of your statement. The choice is yours.
No offense, but maybe he belongs there. If you could make a bold statement like that, then who knows what he could do.
Before I sound like a jerk, let me finish off by saying one of many beliefs of a philosopher. He’s one of the most famous people in the world. He believes that everyone has a natural right to defend his life, health, liberty, possessions, and the pursuit of happiness. As such, you should, too. Good luck in life.
ThatsMyJam
#72
“hi i’ve lived under this guy’s thumb for a long time but i’m not going to talk about him on the internet in an intentionally inflammatory way”
which is, exactly how I dealt with my abuse and how it should be dealt with.
ThatsMyJam
#73
did you, ya know, not read this?
I understand human emotion but this is simply an unneeded attack.
Xaklor
#74
talking things out with other people can help someone get through things, even if those people have nothing to contribute to solving the problem. however, talking directly to the source of the problem isn’t always wise, especially when it’s clear that they won’t change. it’s also worth considering that not everyone’s situation is exactly the same, so what approaches work for one person won’t necessarily work for another person.
I’m not solosen, so I can’t know with 100% certainty how bad he has it, or if his father actually is all that bad, all I’ve got is solosen’s word. if solosen thinks reasoning with his father is impossible, then I’m not going to try to overturn that belief without additional information (which isn’t possible without resorting to some practices of questionable legality). and if solosen also thinks this is a useful outlet for this sort of internal mess bottled up inside, I don’t yet see a reason why he should continue keeping it to himself. he hasn’t resorted to lashing out with unprovoked bouts of sadness, so I don’t think this is disruptive behavior for anyone.
ThatsMyJam
#75
You’re really misunderstanding me here.
I don’t suggest talking directly to the problem.
I completely understand venting.
What doesn’t make sense is unnecessary shit like calling your father a Heirophant, a clear ad hominem against his religious background.
State the facts, share your experience, ask for guidance,help, and encouragement. Don’t lower yourself to personal attacks.
CandyShi
#78
Talking to other people helps a lot.
So it’s more like “hi i’ve lived under this guy’s thumb for a long time so i’m going to explain how I feel to my friends and hope they can help me”
why are we speculating about this when solo is the only one who knows thier own motivation?
SenShin
#79
If you know anything about my father at this point, he’s not a true christian. I call him hierophant because I don’t want to call my someone who puts me down my dad.
Whenever he’s actually reasonable and nice, I do call him my dad. But I want a way to distinguish his two personalities if I’m going to make this easier on myself. I’m not insulting someone by giving them a nickname.
ThatsMyJam
#81
Actually, you are. Would you like me to demonstrate how to insult somebody with a nickname? Because it’s doable, and you’re doing it, and it isn’t healthy.
I completely understand this, and it’s regrettable and shameful. The way he acts towards you is abhorrent, from what I’ve heard from you.
It will not help your attitude towards your situation to dehumanize your father in that way. He is your father, and most of all he is a deeply flawed human being.
People (who don’t have BPD) don’t have two personalities. They have a range. Imagine his emotions as a bucket. When the bucket isn’t full, all is well. When drips and drops of problems fall into the bucket, it slowly fills and eventually overflows. THAT is what you’re calling the Heirophant. A release of emotion.
You deal with emotion differently than he does, I hope. You come and talk on the forums and release, which is great! On the other hand, your father probably directs his negative emotion towards you. This isn’t acceptable, but you have to understand that he struggles differently than you.
His religion dictates that you, a transgender male, are in sin. A pretty major sin, by the way. He struggles with obeying his religion and deep seated morals because of the fact that somebody he loves is committing a major transgression. It’s incredibly difficult to reconcile this difference.
When you call your father a Heirophant, you disconnect yourself from the struggles he is going through in the same way he disconnects himself from you by channeling his negative emotions towards you. This doesn’t help.
hope u enjoyed my novel