Why am I such garbage?


#11

I agree with Lud here.


#12

this is epic style


#13

i’d be inclined to agree with this.

ickabod, i personally don’t mind your presence, but unless this is just another attention seeking post about your life outside of the forums, i suppose i could outline some stuff.

first off, you portray yourself as one of two personalities: one exceedingly arrogant, and one… well, the one you see in this thread. this is a hit or miss with a lot of people, and some extraordinarily nice people like campfires and solosen are compatible with that sort of personality.

however, to come off as arrogant while simultaneously constantly downplaying yourself probably doesn’t sit well with a lot of people. if even you refuse to think of yourself as a good person, who will? it’s especially newer forum users who would dislike this, especially since they’re likely not people you’re personally connected with.

honestly, i feel as though you have this overwhelming sense of attention being directed towards you, which is natural to an extent. in my eyes, you would see something another person would interpret as a careless comment as a personal attack. i would see this as the root of the problem, but beyond that, nobody can really help you.

i think that you misinterpreted this, and that rather than looking at this as withholding the problem, gaod’s really trying to tell you that regardless of what we tell you, you’re probably going to still be looking at yourself in a negative light because you won’t take yourself or others seriously. you’ve made multiple threads about this before, and i think it’s time for you yourself to come to terms with the issue, rather than continually drawing attention to yourself and relying on others to diagnose the problem for you.


#14

You’re relying on the internet for self-validation too much and it’s leading you to take it extremely badly whenever you’re not showered with praise and attention.

This creates a vicious circle where the harder you try to get people to pay attention to you, the more obnoxious you come across as.

You’re not going to break out of this downward spiral unless you do something outside of the internet that you can be proud of.

Please understand that this isn’t me trying to shit on you. This is legitimately the only way out I see for you.


#15

honest answer: nothing about you seems natural, it’s clearly a misrepresentation of yourself in an online setting. the only thing that comes close is emo-style depression displays like these. but when one considers how many times this has come up and how nothing about you seems to have changed it’s not out of the question that this would seem like a fake personality as well.

sorry if it hurts, but it’s what I’m seeing. it always appears to be a shallow act and that gets old after a while.


#16

Nobody respects an attention whore, and that’s what you’re doing right now. Please stop. You’ll regret your actions as soon as you’re done with this shitty self-centric stage in your life, believe me, it happened to me too.


#17

:< I respect you


#18

I’m sorry if this post came off a plea for attention or anything but I’ve been having a bad day.

As I’ve stated some times before I have depression and don’t know how to deal with my feelings in a healthy way. They build up until something tips them into a dramatic explosion of self pity and poor decisions.

I feel I may be this way in part to my childhood. I won’t get into it into too much detail but essentially I was homeschooled and my only social interactions for about 10 years was with bullies, as forced by my parents. I went to an online highschool out of anxiety due to this bullying. I didn’t make my first friend until I was 16. I’ve never really had a place to vent my frustrations or sadness until these forums where i’m semi-anonymous with a community that speaks their mind in a respectable way. I don’t really have anyone in my life who I trust to show emotion too on a personal level. Though not for a lack of trying, I’ve made many friends since that period in my life but refuse to get close to out of fear.

Many of you lovely people have been very supportive and whether you’ve noticed or not helped me get better in ways. I feel comfortable here as many of you even treat me like a person, knowingly or not that always brightens my day no matter how trivial.

I’m sorry for this stupid long rant but I really want to get past this and improve as a person. Though part of the reason I hate myself is because I know how pathetic this is but won’t stop. Please try to look past this and just bear with me as I slowly try to banish this demon.


#19

How do you know that nobody respects you bro?
Everybody tries their hardest to be a person, if some people don’t like how you are then that’s their problem to deal with, not yours.

You don’t have to act a certain way or say certain things just because everyone else is doing it, just be yourself.

I actually respect you man, like even in the discord server with you I’m always thinking “I wonder what Ickabod thinks of this. Has he even seen it?” because I do value and respect your opinion a lot.

Personally, I haven’t seen any hate or disrespect towards around here, but obviously you could be talking about multiple situations or places.

I don’t see this myself, I know in the discord you were trying to joke about a situation I was taking seriously and in the moment I was being quite childish and I did just need to chill out.

Back to the main question anyway:

Why am I such Garbage?

Simple; You’re not.


#20

Wait? your not a person? O-o thats concerning. Are you secretly an AI?
On A more serious note, I do really like your pixel art, most memorably the goblet- goblin one.

On another note, perhaps you need to find good offline friends. Also, maybe some sort of hobby. Idk if it counts, but perhaps volunteer work may help?


#21

The fact you realize where the problem began is a good step towards demon banishing, you may feel like you don’t do enough but I want you to know that it’s not hopeless and you make progress everyday. We all have bad days when people see our worst but it’s also crucial we try to help. If I had helped a friend in the past she would’ve turned out differently, but I didn’t and it haunted me for years. I refuse to let that happen again


#22

I respect you <3


#23

Live by this: If you can’t even love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?


#24

‘I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.’
You and the other people on these forums, Ickabod :heart:


#25

@moderators Please delete this post for me. I got it out of my system. Additionally if I do this again ban me for like a week or something so I’m forced to find somewhere else to vent.


#26

This is the kind of blunt criticism I need in my life to help me improve, you done me good.


#27

The realm community is salty and toxic with few that are good people. You’re just seeing the bad side of the community, you’ll find the good side sooner or later.


#28

[Alllllllll-righty, then.   OB]


#29

#30

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