Bad jokes

#21

I see London, I see France…

#22

I travel a lot for work. My job is very rewarding and I worked hard to get to where I am in life. I have a loving family and a dog and a nice house and a nice car. I miss them all when I leave, but we manage to make it work.

#23

Why can’t you fool an aborted fetus?
It wasn’t born yesterday.

#24

What do a priest and an atheist have in common?
Both need food and water to survive.

#25

What do staplers and people have in common?
They are both tools.

#26

My ex-gf still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

#27

staplers

#28

What was hitler’s favorite food?

I don’t really know, but I would ask him if he was still alive.

#29

If a wild pig kills you, does it mean you’ve been boared to death?

#30

Whenever I undress in the bathroom, my shower gets turned on.

#31

Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
Because she leaned too far on the backswing. Accidents happen, anyone could make that mistake

#32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because she felt like it :confused:

#33

Those one made me die of laugher. Rest in pieces myself.

#35

Okay, so @Shaxasno was lamenting that we mods weren’t more active, so I’ll join in here.

This thread kind of reminds me of a story about my senior prom.

Y’see, there was this girl that I wanted to take to the prom, but I went to a big high school and there was a huge line to buy tickets. Then the day of the prom, there was a big line at the tuxedo rental shop, and when I went to pick up her corsage there was a big line at the florist’s. Once my ride arrived and picked us up, there was a big line outside the dance hall from all the limos dropping people off. Once we got inside, there was a big line to check our coats, then a big receiving line to meet all the king/queen candidates, then there was a huge buffet line to get food.

Finally the band started and we danced for a while, until my date said she was thirsty. So I went over to the table with the punch bowl and there was no punchline.

#36

All in a days work…

Or should I say

Twirk

._.

I’m drunk… Don’t judge

#37

if all the cars in the us were pink what kind of flower would the us be?

a pink carnation hahaha

#38

i know a longer variation of the story.

#39

aren’t these just recycled from /r/antijokes

#40

hmm some of them

#41

have you heard about the restaurant on the moon?

it had great food, but no atmosphere