Corrupt-a-Wish

#3138

Granted! You shut down the pizzeria you commited the murder at, thrash the hybrid suits previously used, and instead construct a new pizzeria with non-wearable animatronic suits.
You subsequently hire a game developer to make games with characters from your pizzeria to cover up said murder.

I wish I could give virtual hugs to others online.

#3139

Granted, but it gives them COVID.
(More DNA points for the guy playing Plague Inc. IRL…)

I wish for a ball of osmium the size of my hand.

#3140

Granted, but the ball replaces your hand. Density is 22.587 g/cm cubed, so feel free to calculate the weight.

I wish I could get my girlfriend to play this game.

#3141

Granted, but she turns out surprisingly talented at hacking. She decides to spawn o3s in the nexus and deca gives up on the game.

I wish you a merry christmas

#3142

Granted. We both have a merry Christmas.

I wish for snuggles.

#3143

granted, my snuggles are… somewhat unique

I wish I had something to eat

#3144

Granted, its broccoli.

I wish I was less bored.

#3145

Granted! You are 1% less bored now that you have something to read.
After this sentence ends, however, you’re back to being bored.

I wish it wasn’t so dang cold every time I wake up in the morning.

#3146

Granted! You’re forever warm and cozy
(Your house is on fire)

I wish for a little hamburger

#3147

Granted! However, it is microscopically small, and is quickly blown away by the gravitational field of the tables and chairs in your house, before being washed away in your sink. On the bright side, one of those water bears is going to have the best meal in water bear history!

I wish my cat was slightly less loud with her meows.

#3148

Granted! However, she takes up barking instead.

I wish for some pizza.

#3149

Granted! Your pizza exists and is yours, but it was baked on the other side of the world.

I wish for a doller

#3150

Granted. You own a doll which is 10% more doll than other dolls, making it doller.

I wish for a basket of wrapped chocolate eggs.

#3151

Granted, but the eggs hatch into spiders that eat all the chocolate and then invade your house.

I wish for the ability to not need sleep.

#3152

Granted; you’re dead now.

I want to be able to pull dry erase markers from thin air at will.

#3153

Granted, but “thin air at will” is actually the name of a city. I go there and steal all of the dry erase markers so there are none left for you to pull.

I wish for realm to be back on flash player.

#3154

Granted, but flash is still unsupported and as such, your account and all your personal information is leaked and hacked and your game performance is less than sub-par

I wish this game gave me the same feeling it used to

#3155

Granted, but the feeling is of frustration of dying to a billion bullshit deaths, including bugs that were patched years ago

I wish rotmg players made more varied art like written stories and music

#3156

Granted, but the game is still run by kabob and we haven’t had an update in 8 years

I wish sprite worlds would always drop a defence potion when I run them

#3157

Granted, except Potions of “Defence” don’t exist, meaning you are guaranteed a non-existent item that defaults to the Art sprite

I wish RotMG YouTube content was more varied beyond PPE montages and speedruns