How would you like it if the day you were born, you were bound to an animal, albeit a stupid one, that coerced you into working for them for as long as they wanted? You ate when they wanted you to, and only when they wanted you to. When they did not want you around, you would be stuck in your own little entrapment along with others who had suffered the same fate as you. And you always lived and worked for them, under the growing fear that you would one day be abandoned for eternity. Your master would come to die endless times; but you could only watch on in horror again and again. You wouldnât feel very good about it, would you?
âŚWould you want to fight back??? If youâre playing RotMG, you probably will.
The dungeon is spawned from Janus, like the other encounters. Set up like a divine pet yard: you enter through the bottom, and there are fountains in the four corners. Except those donât heal you, because [1] Theyâre broken (as in actually broken, smashed into pieces and not broken in the sense of melees tanking everything and having insane dps) and [2] Why would you put something like that in a dungeon???
What you will notice the moment you walk in is that you are permanently pet stasised. I mean, when you are doing battle with other pets, you should probably feel lucky your own petâs not betraying you for the great pet revolution, much less directly assist you. So your pet is off, which would give the dungeon a much higher difficulty for those that are used to their pet.
When you arrive, you encounter Larry the Demented Baby (oh god, what am i doing??) standing in the middle of the room invulnerable, much like you meet the puppet master.
Larry: âFilthy adventurers. So youâve come here to oppress us again, have you? Well, weâve decided weâre not going to take that anymore.â
âToo long has the baby been the pet of choice for countless people; too long have we been been exploited under our adult counterparts. Too long have our kind suffered.â
Following this, Bobby the Grape Penguin appears next to him. He is also invulnerable.
Bobby: âAnd us penguins have not had a fate any better. What say we charge these adventurers for their crimes, Larry? I suggest their lives.â
Then, Larry spawns 3 other pets: each of these represent Attack Close, Attack Mid and Attack Far. I suggest Bat, Squirrel and Dragonfly, as they are parts of some of the most ignored pet eggs by players. However, as long as that pet represents the ability and is of common ability, it is fine. The moment these are spawned, the attack med will say: âYou never cared about us. Well, you should soon!â and begin to attack!
The attack close pet charges at the nearest player (Like savage, because as there is no pet with savage first ability this is pretty much the only way i can fit it in) and shoots a burst of 3 large, white but slow bullets similar to O1 in rageâexcept now theyâre wider, but thereâs one in the middle. It does this every 2 or so seconds. Each of these does 200 damage, so this is by no means something anyone can confidently tank. Even a maxed knight would take around 100 damage. AND to make matters worse, it canât be stunned. If all you have is a team of melees, this will cause you some pain. It has only 12000 HP, though, and its shots have low range (iâd say 5ish seems fair), so killing it should be pretty fast. You CAN stasis it if youâre having too much trouble juggling it along with the other two.
The attack mid pet stays mostly where it is, moving in place a bit to make it not incredibly easy to hit it. It shoots a single medium-sized white ball at the nearest player, dealing only 120 damage.
âŚExcept it does this 2 or 3 times every second, meaning you will quickly die if you stand there and let it hit you. It has a range of 8, so staff classes barely outrange it. It cannot be stasised, meaning it will always be there to hit you until you take away its 15000 HP. (Also meaning if you troll with mystic, it wonât work entirely.)
The attack far pet circles very quickly around Larry, who is in the centerâstill invulnerable, along with Bobbyâand avoids direct contact with a player, meaning this guy is going to be a pain to kill. (Donât all dungeons need something like that?) It cannot be paralyzed, but can be slowedâmeaning huntresses are going to have an easier time with this. Once per second, it fires a shot dealing 80 damage towards not the nearest but a random player, and with a range of 12 could very possibly hit the target across the room. It has 20000 HP, meaning⌠yeah. Youâre not going to enjoy trying to kill it.
So you may be wondering, what are Larry and Bobby doing in the middle of the room while youâre fighting off the other pets? They, being Heal and Mheal pets respectively, are helping their fellow pets. Larry heals each pet for 100 HP every few seconds, much like Nut, but you should be able to handle it. Bobby Mheals at a much slower rate, maybe only once every 10 seconds or so; however, when he mheals the other pets, they are immediately able to fire again. So imagine this: Youâre a warrior, and you time your charge right after the attack close fires to get some damage in. Normally, this would be no problem, but if Bobby happens to Mheal, itâs going to immediately fire againâŚand youâre going to get a heart attack. And maybe die. So just a little something extra to have to keep in mind as you fight. Remember that YOUR pet is still stasised, so you canât tank as much.
Once all 3 of the attack pets are dead, Bobby will say: âLet me go finish them off!â He changes sprites into a larger, Rare/Legendary penguin. He then becomes vulnerable and assumes the movement pattern of godland gods: somewhat slowly following the nearest player. He gains a random ability of Attack Close/Mid/Far, meaning you will have a somewhat different experience from dungeon to dungeon. (Attack far will probably be easiest to handle, because this time heâs not moving all over the place.) Furthermore, his MHeal frequency will increase, once every 5-6 seconds. He has 30000 HP.
However, at the same time he summons 3 MORE pets, as if you hadnât had enough of them already. These represent Decoy, Rising Fury and Electric. Preferably iâd like to see the electric pet as an automaton, but again as long as they are common and represent their ability itâs fine.
The decoy pet turns itself to look like Bobby, and attacks and moves in the same way, but is much weaker: its attack close would only do 100 damage, attack mid 50 and attack far 20. It also doesnât mheal, so itâs just really a nuisance when youâre trying to kill Bobby instead and donât know which is which. It has 5000 HP, so if you see its HP bar going down much faster itâs the decoy. Cannot be stasised.
The rising fury pet stays in the same spot the entire time, in the middle of the room, to charge up its ability. Periodically, every 4-6 seconds, it throws a blood bomb with radius 6 (which is much larger than you think!) onto itself, dealing 250 damage. Do you really want to take 250 damage? No you donât. So be careful around this thing! Please! With 15000 HP and immune to stun, clearing this thing wonât be easy.
And then we have the electric pet: it savages quickly towards the nearest player, and it shoots like a brute: very short-range, 1 or 2, but dangerous shots. However, it shoots around itself the entire way this time (unlike the brute, which only shoots in the general direction of a player), 8 bullets that each do 90 damage AND paralyze the player for 1.5 seconds. Considering itâs very fast, and it shoots once per second, if you get paralyzed and arenât careful, you can get perma-paralyzed, sat on and die. 
15000 HP, cannot be paralyzed, so it is recommended you kill this first.
Once all four of these pets are dead, Larry will say: âHow dare you kill my brethren for this! I will avenge them!â He will then, extremely quickly, charge towards the nearest playerâwith a speed so fast it is impossible not to get sat on. When he comes within a range of a single tile from a player, he will yell, âDIE!!!â and flash⌠only to do nothing. (However, when the dungeon first comes outâif it ever doesâthis will give many a player a heart attack.) Because, as a heal pet, he has no direct attack⌠
He will then become vulnerable, with 100000 HP, and slowly attempt to move away from the player, saying âHow could this happen?â Now is the time to whale on him. He still heals himself for 100 every few seconds, but if you have anything over a kendo stick you should do more than he heals.
However, when he reaches 10000 HP, he will suddenly become invulnerable and run to the center of the roomâfor this is his rage phase, despite not having a normal phase apart from running away. He says, âI can tolerate this oppression no longer! When all is at stake, i must not back down!â He then grows⌠into a Battle God.
In case you didnât know, this is the battle god.
He will then gain one of Attack Close/Mid/Far and Electric abilities, making him quite dangerous to deal with. He heals himself back up to 40,000 HP, and his heal ability becomes a lot stronger as wellâhe heals 500 every second. You need a good, consistent group DPS for this, or itâs going to take a ridiculously long time. Furthermore, he has become stun immune, paralyze immune and stasis immune, and charges at the nearest playerâso a slightly less dangerous, but a somewhat longer Nut rage. You guys love Nut rages, right? Make sure you have a decent group with decent dps to fight this guy. When he is about to die, he flashes and says, âNo! We will rise up again!â And die, dropping the exit portal, along with some nice items.
Each of the Attack Close/Mid/Far pets drop T9-10 Weapons and T10-11 Armor, and also an attack pot. The Decoy, Rising fury and Electric drop the same items, but defense instead of attack. These all drop at fairly common rates, so many players can get them.
Bobby drops T9-11 Weapons, T10-12 Armor and Manaâalbeit at a low rate, considering how heâs not as difficult as some other bosses that drop it, such as shatters or hard-mode nikao. Larry Drops T10-11 Weapons, T11-12 Armor, and a Life pot at a low rate.
So what makes this dungeon so worthwhile? Well, all the pets, even the pretty useless Decoy one, has a chance to drop Fries (250 FP), Great tacoes (500 FP) or Power Pizza (750 FP). From Bobby the GRAPE penguin, you can also acquire some GRAPES of wrath (1500 FP), and from Larry you could acquire a Superburger (2000 FP). (Or, I dunno, design some other thing called Baby Food or something.) These arenât guaranteed, but still have a not-too-shabby rate, meaning you can get some really nice feed powerânow for free.
BUT, all of these pets have a very low chance of dropping a pet skinâbe it a bagston, jaco or goldy, they drop from all the pets at an extremely low rate. (You shouldnât be worried, because [1] If it ever gets released Itâll be around full time unlike a chest event, and [2] There are 8 Pets. 8 Chances of loot. Think about it.) This is what people will be coming to this dungeon for. Pet feed and skins. (And maybe life.)
The enemies in this dungeon on their own are not very dangerous (other than raging Larry), but when combined it is hard to consider all the enemies at once, and with damage up to 250 a shot this could get very dangerous. Combine that with a somewhat small area and the permanent pet stasis, and one slip-up could make your grave.
TL;DR: You fight pets. Your pet is an idiot and doesnât do stuff. These pets team up to make your day miserable. You should team up as well. This dungeon drops pet food. Pet food is delicious. This dungeon also drops pet skins. You want pet skins. So approve of this dungeon and iâll send this to DECA.
Aaaand weâre going to get a lot of haters arenât we because Iâm a red star and i donât look like i know what iâm talking about. Time to realize i have 0 self esteem
