Corrupt-a-Wish

#2978

Granted, you now work for Ikea.

I wish for an angry rhinoceros to appear in the bedroom of the person who replies to this.

#2979

Granted, but it’s a 1 day old baby rhinoceros who’s still angry about the misfortune of being birthed.

I wish that @Seelpit would take my baby rhino. I don’t know what I’d do with it that wasn’t illegal and that I’d regret doing, in more ways than one.

#2980

Granted! However, Seelpit is actually just a computer AI, existing only on rotmg and the realmeye forums, and the rhino is withdrawn from reality and placed into purgatory forever.

I wish for a large pepperoni pizza.

#2981

granted, but then I swallow it whole in one gulp. it’s mighty impressive to watch but now you’re down 1 pizza

I wish I had a bigger bedroom

#2982

Granted, but the rhino still doesn’t like the size and leaves it in a wreck.

I wish for a helicopter.

#2983

Granted. It’s made out of dust, and floats away in the breeze following your next breath.

I wish I could actually dedicatedly eat all the chocolate I’ve been gathering for so long.

#2984

granted, but. Nani!? the chocolate is the work of an enemy stand user! wish you luck :slight_smile:

#2985

I wish I didn’t have to make this wish for you.

(it’s not even the first time, either!)

#2986

He wished luck for seelpit

#2987

Granted, you’re all turned into 6 inch plushies and added to my collection

I wish I could purr irl

#2988

Granted! Not only can you purr, but you also become increasingly more desperate for physical affection, and you will generally find yourself more on people’s laps - despite your obvious non-cat size - and returning affection with soft headbutts. And you also grow cat ears and a tail.

I wish I had a lifesize super soft Walrein plush that I could cuddle whenever I’m stressed.

#2989

Granted, but your plush also sometimes gets stressed and cuddles you at inconvenient times.

I wish my water bottle never runs out of water while I’m drinking from it, and otherwise acts like a normal bottle.

#2990

Granted! The rate of filling while drinking (and thus, pouring) is 37 liters per second. I hope you like sharing your water with everyone in close proximity to you.

I wish 2021 won’t be as bad as 2020.

#2991

Granted! It’s going to be worse.

I wish my sleeping schedule was good

#2992

Granted, but your sleep schedule is 0 sleep.

I wish for Rotmg the Anime

#2993

Granted, but its full of right-wing strawman poltical stuff.

I wish for better social skills.

#2994

Granted, but it requires that you completely detach yourself from digital devices and get out into the world and making yourself uncomfortable, with lots of bumbling among the way trying to practice those social skills.

I wish… erm, I wish… blast it all. A pox be on these cursed wishes. Literally cursed at least half the time.

I wish that you, the reader, would offer me at least 4 healthy sized paragraphs about a story/movie you love, under the condition that you have to corrupt it into something a little different for our amusement.

#2995

Granted. I offer you an at least 4 paragraph review about a story/movie I love, and you decline.

I wish for a hug.

#2996

Granted! The air hugs you.

I wish I had a tail to help keep my balance and to better indicate my mood.

#2997

Granted, its 9 metres long and constantly gets squeezed in doors

I wish I could consume as much coffeine as a I wanted to without any negative consequences.